Better Together

You have two and a half more hours in the air. Flying to your training. The first big step to you moving here. 

 I know this move is causing you a lot of stress, and I can't help but feel guilty and responsible, and it goes further back than not giving you enough of a heads up prior to me moving here. 

I wish I had been better with my money from the start, but I just wasn't. I was living in a place I couldn't afford and just in denial about any kind of budget and living way above my means. I got myself into a situation that wouldn't have facilitated a life or even the potential for us to be where we are now. My mental health played a huge role in that and now that I have found the pieces that work for my brain I am slowly working at digging myself out of that hole I found myself in. 

So I am torn, torn with the fact that I believe moving here allowed us to jump off from a fresh start and launch us into this partnership that is beyond my wildest dreams and torn between how my past and recent decisions have forced you out of a place where you feel don’t comfortable and secure and is causing you stress. 

That’s the last thing I ever want for you. 

I have no doubts about us, not one. I know we are heading into a big transition in our relationship. Moving in together, merging finances, balancing shift work and everything that comes with all that change.  But I know we are going to navigate it well and be ok. 

This isn't about me and it isn't about you, it's now about us. And we are going to be fine, I feel it. I have no fear about any decisions we need to make together moving forward. 

Everything in life is temporary, our location, pay scales, careers... We don't have to make this a permanent thing. If you need more time to give Toronto notice, if you need more time to ask for a leave of absence, and if you need more time to feel more secure about taking a job here - I am willing to wait. I would wait 5 years if that's what it takes as long as at the end of the day it's me, and it's you and it's the two of us doing this thing together. 

I really hope it doesn't take five years and I would pack up and move back tomorrow if that's what it takes.

I hope I adequately portray how much I appreciate you and how hard I know this is for you. I totally understand the sacrifices you are making for our life to happen here. I know that this isn't the last time we are going to encounter changes and sacrifices that we are going to have to navigate together.

I love you, I can't express how much I love you, how lucky I feel that I get to marry you, a man who is hardworking, kind, intentional, handsome, hilarious and forever mine.