Love More

I had to Google the matrix to know if I wanted to take the red pill or the blue pill during one of our quizzes. I saw the matrix a million years ago and literally the only thing I remember is that Keanu Reeves was in it.  When I read the definitions I think I would have answered the question differently 3 months ago. I would of happily taken the blue pill and lived in a content ignorance, a sort of sedated approach to life.  Not now.  Give me the red pill, give me the uncertain future and awareness.  I want to be fully aware of all this, this new joy and peace I’ve found with you. This sense of home (even as I move 3,900 kms away) that I feel with you, even if we are just on FaceTime and text messages right now.  I’ve always prided myself on not needing a better half or someone to complete me. I’m so glad I’ve taken the time over the last four years to really work on myself aside from you, it’s made me a better person to be the best partner I can be in our life....

Part one • Day one  Lost cell service during dinner an hour ago and I’m sitting here with my thoughts and I can’t talk to you.  I’m going to preface this with I know I’m seeing you soon and this wasn’t goodbye forever.  We’ve spent time apart like this all the time    in the past and I know once I’m out of this 6x3 cabin time will fly by but I’m    literally trapped in a    small box with my big thoughts and feelings so bear with me Saying goodbye to you today was one of the hardest things I’ve done. I know we’ve said it all to each other this last month    but every day I’m finding a deeper reason why I love you, I’m so excited about it and the only person I want to tell is you   I know I’ve always cared for you but I also feel like this last month you’ve also become my best friend.