Rest

I know that this is what I am meant to do
I know that without a doubt.

I gained a lot of confidence in pre-health - everything was nicely presented - spoon fed and packaged nicely. Don't get me wrong, I worked hard to achieve the marks that I did. Then I go to Mac where it is basically fend for yourself and figure it out as you go - I am not handling this new way of learning well at all. I don't even know where to start and not sure how to begin and not sure where to turn to figure it out. I am a month in a still feel about as clueless as I did the day I started.

I am tired

BUT

I can do this

Right?

I have been sick - sick enough that I spent four and a half hours in the ER last night to be poked and prodded - X-rayed and all that wonderful stuff - all for "well you are sick, you are also exhausted" I need to slow down - but what other option do I have? I have the option to slow down when it comes to school and surely fail, because, lets face it, this stuff doesn't come naturally to me. I have the option to quit my job, but I am already living pay cheque to pay cheque.

Oh and I am turning 24 on Thursday - that number sucks. YES I know that I am young and have my whole life ahead of me blah blah blah. If you had asked me ten years ago where I would be at 24 - I would have never imagined that I would be starting my school career, single, living in my friends living room (for whom I am VERY grateful let me make that clear).

So yes, needless to say I am overwhelmed - sick - exhausted - and frustrated. I have been on the verge of tears all day today - I am usually pretty good and figuring stuff out - but I just can't get a grasp on this university thing - but I am not a quitter - so, I am just going to have to suck it up and move on. I feel stupid that the majority of my problem is that I am not adjusting to university - feels selfish and senseless when there are people going to bed tonight who don't know how they are going to feed their families tomorrow.

Hopefully after a round of these antibiotics and some sleep tonight tomorrow will prove to be a better day.

Prayer would be nice

- Kim

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