The shape of my heart.

It has been awhile since I blogged, not for a lack of time, just a lack of heart and motivation. Time is a funny thing, it dictates so much, to some it is meaningless and to some time is important. . . crucial even.

I had my knee surgery last month and it went really well for the most part. Spending the night in the hospital was not the greatest, I didn't sleep well and to be honest I don't remember much of it, just enough that it sucked. The first week was the hardest, my surgeon wanted me to keep my leg elevated, but every time I moved I was in excruciating pain so I wasn't able to. During my post-op appointment they decided to drain excess fluid that had built up in my knee and as soon as they were done doing that I felt INSTANTLY better and it has all been uphill since then - physically.

A week or so post-op

As for emotionally - well, not so hot. I am a very active person, I love going out and being a part of things I HATE missing out on stuff. My birthday was the week after my surgery and I had a melt down, it was the first day seeing my knee and I was just miserable. And I would like to say that I am starting to feel better, but I'm not I am just stuck in a funk that I can't seem to break out of, I am sure that once I am back and doing more things I will start to feel better.

Onto other things:

I have started attending a new church, an amazing church, I am SOOO blessed to be a part of the community that is Eucharist. A church has never felt so right to me, and now that I have found "the one" it is great. A couple of my friends who are attending the church have been going through a rough time, their child (Edmund) was born at 25 weeks, and things were not looking great for this little guy. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF PRAYER CONTINUE READING: People have been praying NON stop for this little guy and his parents (Aaron and Tabitha) and the strides he has made since his early birth have been amazing he is truly a miracle. He still has a long road ahead of him, but where he was even yesterday, to where he is today is well amazing.

God and I have been going through a lot together the last few weeks, I am finally paying attention, I have/had been going through a huge period of doubt - probably the last two years I have seriously been questioning where my faith is. In the last two months God has gotten my attention, has revealed himself in amazing ways and eliminated the doubt. It wasn't that I had lost my faith in Christianity so much as I had lost my faith in Christians. I feel like there needs to be a HUGE shift in the way Christians act/interact with "the world" God preached/lived/breathed/exerted/ love - and I feel like we (myself) included, have missed the "love" target. It is Biblical that people should recognize Christ in our lives through our love. There is so much more I feel like I have to say about this topic, but not sure how in words but I am going to try through my actions to be a more loving person. in my actions through my words - I want to reek of love - God's love.