Love More

I haven't really done a "good" blog for awhile, I haven't had time. School gets busier an busier every day and I don't really see an end in sight, I feel like no matter how much work I do there is still more. On the plus side, I love it, and I am really excited to reach that end goal. I just wish I had time to incorporate more things, I really miss spending valuable time with friends. Things on the dieting front are going really good, it has been three weeks and I am pretty happy with the progress I have made so far. To date I have lost 10 pounds and I am really proud of myself. My total mindset around food has changed and I am seeing results. This week was really the first time I noticed an actual physical change. There have been some moments where I just wanted to throw in the towel, make up some excuse as to why I don't need to lose weight (it's winter, I may need the fat to stay warm), and go eat a chocolate cake. It has been really great doing it wi...

Well my first week of hardcore dieting has begun and though I haven't lost a record amount of weight I have already notice some changes. It's amazing how your body will thank you once you cut out the crap and replace it with what your body needs vs. what you want. My biggest thing is that there are going to be days that I slip up - the bigger thing is learning to not let one slip up ruin the whole diet but to get up, shake it off and try not to let it ruin this whole experience. Yes, experience It is a life changing both physical and emotional experience - one visible, one not so much. My jeans are truly representing my confidence because no one else is losing the weight - just me! It is something I am doing for ME! Like I said, nothing momental diet wise to write about - I'll take a pic once  I drop 20lbs - maybe I should take one now and compare. Hmmmm....

I wish I could pour my WHOLE heart, mind, body and soul into school - that is how much I love it and it would be easier to focus on that then other things. But, I can't. Other things need my attention, life continues on outside the library walls where I so often sit. I have friends, friends who I love. I have friends who have their lives together and I have friends who are deeply hurt by things and people around them. I have friends who are about to go on a journey that is difficult that may not have a positive end for those around them. I am Kim, the nursing student. The girl who is becoming a nurse partly because of my all time life goal but mostly because I am an empathetic person - because of that empathy when my friends hurt I hurt with them and sometimes that hurt is overwhelming, confusing and frustrating. It is frustrating as a person who would take all that hurt away in a second if I could, yet I can't. And that sucks.

Why when people hear that you are single they act like you just told them you have been diagnosed with a fatal disease? "Oh, well thats ok" "I'm sure someone will come along soon" "There's someone for everyone" "There are plenty of fish in the sea" "I heard the online dating thing is working for a lot of people" Heads up - I AM OK WITH BEING SINGLE! I'm not just saying that, I'm not looking for any one to say, "you know when you stop looking that's when it happens." I'm not looking for any of that. Not only am I ok with being single, I am at PEACE with it. Quite a change of tune from the last post I wrote, I know. This is after about a month of serious prayer and self reflection - a process that at times was not easy, after a lot of scripture reading and moments of silence to just listen I had a conversation with God where I told/asked Him that if I am meant to be single that I want to feel fu...

Honesty? Ok or not, I'm not ok. There is nothing seriously wrong with me, so don't get all freaked out. I'm not horrible and I'm not good and I wouldn't even say I'm ok - I am "blah". I think there have been a number of minor things happen throughout the last semester in my personal life but  I kept pushing them away because I was too busy to deal with it, well now my semester is over (bring on exams). I now have a little bit of down time and it's not going well. I think it all came to a front yesterday - but has been slowly building up over the last week.  Yesterday I saw someone who I cared deeply about, someone who I opened up to and trusted, someone who made me a lot of promises and then in one night broke that trust, broke those promises and then left for school and decided that I wasn't worth the effort involved in a long distance relationship and completely stopped talking to me. It hurt, a lot. I went through a period of insecurit...

       I watched a documentary called "No Impact Man" (it's on Netflix, or youtube). It's a story about a man (Colin Beaven) and his family and their journey through a year of living a life that dosen't leave a negative impact on the environment. Which for them meant only buying local, not using anything disposable (including diapers, plastic containers and toilet paper), not taking the elevator, only using public transportation, not using electricity and not producing any waste. All in a small New York apartment. ( www.noimpactman.com )     Two things: I love documentaries and I loved this documentary. I took a course last year on Society and Change and the rate of our consumption is overwhelming, the toll that we are placing on our earth is irreversible and could have been completely avoidable. I am a part of this problem. I don't want this to seem like I am standing on a soap box here, because I have no right to. ...

Haven't been blogging much, because I don't have much to blog about. School is school, Work is work, and both consume 95% of my time. That's why I haven't been blogging much. That, and I don't really have much to say right now.